Deleted Scene

I created a deleted scene for the movie, The Hangover.

FADE IN:

EXT.  CAESAR’S PALACE  —  NIGHT    WALKING BACK

PHIL, STU, ALAN, and DOUG walk up the street towards the hotel. PHIL is in the front of the group, dancing with his arms in the air. ALAN is a short distance behind the group, trying to button his fly with one hand. He has a chicken tucked under his other arm and a tiger walking at his side. DOUG and STU are arguing. STU is hopping up and down.

STU

(blood is trickling down his chin)

I don’t know where my wife is, don’t you get it?

DOUG

Stu, your wife is alright. She went to the bathroom with the child.

STU

(spins in a circle with his arms out)

I told her to wait until we got back. There is no bathroom out here in the wild!

 DOUG

  (stops and grabs STU’s arms)

The kid smelled horrible, she was pissing on herself. They just had to make a pit stop, that’s all. They just left. They’ll catch up. They’re back there, somewhere. Let the lady do her thing. You can’t be clingy, man.

STU

They’ve been missing for so long!

PHIL stops walking and turns around.

PHIL

Stu, please, quit bitching. I’m trying to find our hotel.

ALAN spins his head around.

ALAN

I feel like we’re going in circles.

STU

No, Alan, that’s just you. (SCREAMS) Where is my wife? I love her!

DOUG

You love her? You just met her.

PHIL laughs.

PHIL

You just married her! Now that that’s over, keep walking before Alan finds something else to bring home.

STU

My wife is in the wilderness! Alone! We have to go back. She isn’t okay, I know it.

DOUG

I must hand it to you, Stu. You did good. I don’t know how you did it, but you did it.

PHIL

There’s so much tugging a guy like Stu can take. If Melissa pulled that leash one more time, Stu would have choked. Choked and died. Anything is game after that. (Laughs) Psycho bitch.

STU

I need my wife! My lover forever!

PHIL

Keep walking.

ALAN

Maybe she’s in that building.

Everybody stops to look up at Caesar’s Palace. The tiger growls. ALAN pets its head.

ALAN

I think someone’s tired.

 PHIL

(points at the hotel)

Well look what it is. I led us to our hotel. We’re sleeping like kings tonight, ladies!

   STU

(looks down and places a hand on his forehead)

What is a king without his beloved?

     PHIL

If it’s meant to be, she’ll come back.

ALAN

If you love something, let it go.

ALAN throws the chicken into the air – it attempts to fly but falls to the ground. It lands on its feet and clucks around. It pecks at the concrete.

STU

(YELLS)

That’s animal abuse!

PHIL

Stop screaming!

STU

Why?

PHIL

Because you’re getting blood everywhere.

STU sticks his tongue through the gap between his teeth and laughs.

PHIL

In order for us to get our beauty sleep in that magical kingdom, we have to be quiet. We have to act natural.

ALAN looks at the tiger, who looks at him.

ALAN

(whispers)

You don’t need beauty sleep. (Winks) You won’t have any trouble acting natural, either.

STU

I need my wife. She loves me for who I am. She’d never change a thing about me. I can’t be my natural self without her.

PHIL

I don’t think Melissa would like that very much. Better be careful, there might be a recording device on you.

STU takes off his glasses and wipes his eyes.

STU

I’m not going anywhere and I won’t be quiet until she’s with me.

ALAN looks at PHIL.

ALAN

Good thing I have the Jonas Brothers on my iPod.

STU screams and begins to run back in the direction they came from. PHIL and DOUG chase him and hold him back. He squirms to the ground, screaming. PHIL smacks him in the back of the head and puts a hand over his mouth as he looks around.

PHIL

Shut up! Fuck! Stop bleeding!

DOUG squats in front of STU

DOUG

Look man, I know how it is to be in love. I know how it is to miss someone. You just need to pass out now. You have no idea what’s going on, so I’ll find your wife.

STU

Thank you! Thank you! Honey! Honey, Doug will find you!

PHIL and DOUG help STU up.

DOUG runs back to where they came from. PHIL, STU, ALAN, the tiger and the chicken walk up to the hotel.

                                                                  CUT TO: Morning Scene

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