Sayings That Make No Sense

A collection of sayings that have made me wonder why the heck someone would say such things in the first place.

I saw it with my own eyes – To my knowledge, it’s not possible to see anything through someone else’s eyes.

It’s always in the last place you look – Why would someone keep searching after they found what they were looking for?

New and improved – If it’s new, it hasn’t been available for improvements. If it’s improved, it’s been around long enough not to be considered new.

Shit happens – Why would someone bring up such a topic?

I don’t mean to interrupt – Oh really? What were your intentions then?

You can’t have your cake and eat it too – The purpose of cake is to eat it. If there’s a piece of cake in front of me, it’s going down.

Break a leg – Are you supposed to try so hard at something that you somehow manage to break a leg? Not worth it.


Who I Remind “Them” of

It’s happened to everyone. Someone you know, someone you just met, a complete stranger — “You know who you remind me of?” It can be a compliment or it can make you totally self conscious. It can be based off of your looks or things you say, anything that’s a part of you that reminds someone of someone else. Here are the people and animals, yes, animals, that I’ve reminded “them” of…

Bérénice Bejo. This is my most recent one. She stars as Peppy Miller in The Artist. Two nights ago, I was eating lasagna with my family and my grandmother, who recently watched The Artist, told me I reminded her of “the actress in The Artist,” and said, “She’s even got the mark on her face.” She told me we have the same facial expressions. I’ll have to see for myself.

Phoebe Buffay. I wasn’t sure how to react to this one. I see Phoebe, from the show Friends, as a doof who can be overly clumsy and annoying. I was never much of a big Friends fan, though I do enjoy the show and have seen enough episodes to form my opinion on Phoebe Buffay. While irritating at times, she can be funny because she doesn’t care about what the people around her think about her actions, openness and honesty. I think that’s what my father’s friend meant when he said I reminded him of her. We were in a public place when I blurted out something unladylike, but I was just speaking my mind. Makes sense to me.

Cheshire Cat. Almost everybody knows that grin.  Apparently, I’ve got it. A few years ago, I worked at a plant nursery, and my assistant manager told me numerous times that the way I smiled reminded him of Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. He said it always looked like my mind was was up to something behind that wide smile. You never know!


Avril Lavigne. “Oh my god, you look like Avril Lavigne.” “Hey Avril!” “Where’s your sk8r boi?” I’ve heard it all. Especially when I was a teenager. I dressed in a similar style, wore dark eyeliner, and dyed my hair lighter. I was seriously called Avril at least twice a week. When I was a teenager, I could agree. But these days, since I’ve ditched that look, I don’t really see it. Last year, though, while traveling Europe with my brother and his friend, his friend never called me by my real name, but, instead, of course, Avril.

Matilda. You know, the little genius brunette girl with the magical powers in the movie, Matilda, from the ’90s. My first boyfriend’s mother was convinced that I was somehow related to Mara Wilson. She called me “Matilda.” She even wrote it on Christmas cards. I’ve never heard her use my real name. She said everything about me reminded her of that little girl. The only resemblance I saw was the brown hair. Oh, and the magical powers.

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel. According to many, I resemble Jessica Biel, and I seem to get that more as I grow into a mature looking adult. I take that as a very big compliment because physically, Jessica Biel is in top-notch shape. And to top it off, she has a dazzling personality. I’m nowhere close to a carbon copy, but that compliment is always a complete happy mood booster.

Who do you remind people of?

Things My Dogs Taught Me

Show your love. If there is someone in your life you can’t live without, show them.

Live in the moment. Take every moment as it comes. Learn to be happy in the here and the now — don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future.

Indulge. If you want a treat, go for it. Pamper yourself.

Don’t judge. Dogs don’t care what you’re wearing or what you look like. They don’t care about how much money you make or what kind of car you drive. They love you simply for who you are. An important lesson many people need to learn.

Don’t be afraid to show your emotions. Let loose and express yourself. Don’t bottle up your feelings. There are reasons for them.

Get out more often. Just about every dog gets excited when he sees his leash. There’s nothing like exploring — there are friends to meet, sights to see, things to do and learn outside of the house.

Take naps. It’s all part of the balance. Play when you’re energized, eat when you’re hungry, work when you’re required to, and rest when you’re tired.

Be true to yourself. There are reasons a yorkie isn’t a greyhound and a maltese isn’t a German shepherd. Be comfortable with who you are and what you are capable of.

There are some times when you have to bite after your bark. Defend yourself. If someone needs to learn a lesson, teach them.

Five Things I Will Never Understand

Smoking cigarettes – Why in the world would you pay so much money to cause damage to your body? Not to mention this disgusting habit affects others around you. It’s one of the stupidest things I’ve seen someone do in my life. There is no excuse to start. It’s highly unattractive, in my opinion. Love those yellow teeth, buddy.

Valet parking – Why would I pay someone to do something I can easily do myself? Some people worry about their car as it’s being driven away, too. What’s the guy doing in there? Is he going to steal something? Did I put the GPS in the storage compartment? And then you have to WAIT for your car to come back to you when you want to leave whatever fancy joint you’re at. When your car is in sight, it’s almost an instinct to scope it over for marks or dents, and when you get inside, you check through everything. Just a bit stressful.

“Checking in” on Facebook – Yeah, I’m not home right now. Come rob my house. Also, Pete Johnson and Holly Marie are with me. Be sure to break into their homes too. Look, we even took a picture to prove it.

Majoring in Liberal Arts – I understand the idea of a Liberal Arts college or university, but to major in Liberal Arts? Which sauce would you like with that?

“Reality” Shows – The Jersey Shore. The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Keeping Up with the Kardashians. You get where I’m going. How can people become brainwashed into watching these shows? None of it is real! I don’t understand how these idiots make so much money for being idiots. I’m going to be paying off my student loans for years and can’t find full time work in or out of my field, and these pinheads can just be complete twits and become millionaires?! Seriously, what is wrong with this world?!

What are some things you can’t seem to wrap your head around?

The Nico Blues Heat Up The Vibe Lounge

An article I wrote for SpotonLI.com.

The Nico Blues, an alternative rock band from New Jersey, heated up The Vibe Lounge in Rockville Centre Friday night. They pulled in a crowd of a variety of ages.

The band is made up of Eric Goldberg and Evan Campbell, both vocalists, guitarists, and bassists, Reed Adler, guitarist and bassist, Skylar Adler, drummer and recording engineer, and Dan Goldberg, guitarist. The guys rotate instruments depending on which song they play. The band was founded in 2009, but they have been sharing and writing music with each other for years. Growing up in the same neighborhood, the five of them were friends by the time they were six and seven years old.

The Nico Blues played six of their songs Friday night, opening with “Mugshot In Princeton,” which is on their upcoming EP, followed by “Living Proof,” which the band considers to be their most successful song. The video for “Living Proof” was picked up by MTVU. The audience rocked their bodies and tossed their heads to the intense harmony, wearing stickers on their clothing the band handed out before the show. Read More

Break of Dawn

Dawn slipped her fingers between Carlo’s. They squinted their eyes from the sunlight as they walked out of the dorm building.

“I’m just gonna head to class from here,” Carlo said, taking his hand from Dawn’s.

Dawn grabbed her cellphone out of her back pocket and slid her thumb across the screen. “You have 15 minutes. Come to The Cup with me.” She crossed her arms and frowned.

“I want to read over my notes.”

“You can come to The Cup with me. I’ll test you.”

“Nah, just go.” Carlo pointed his hand with the notebook to The Cup, the coffee shop across the field.

“Hug me first.” Dawn closed her eyes and held her arms open.

Carlo wrapped his arms around Dawn’s shoulders and kissed her blonde head. “Bye Dawn,” he said before letting her go.

“Text me when you’re out,” Dawn said as Carlo walked away.

*

The bell on the door jingled as Dawn entered The Cup. She stopped as soon as she stepped in. The counter’s line ended near the entrance. She scanned the couches and tables in the dining area for someone she knew.

“Looks like everybody had the same idea.”

Dawn smiled and turned around when she heard his voice.

“Andriel!” She hugged him. “You’re out of class early. Usually I don’t see you here for another 20 minutes.”

“Yeah. Professor showed up late, turned on some movie made in the ’80s about the culture of Guatemala and was on his iPad. He obviously didn’t want to be there today so why should I?”

Dawn shrugged. “Nobody cares about anything anymore.”

“Nope.”

The line moved up and Andriel puffed his chest out and purposefully walked into Dawn. “Excuse me, miss,” he said in a deep voice.

She grinned and pushed him away. “You’re such a creep.”

Andriel rubbed one of his big hands through Dawn’s hair, pulling it in front of her face.

“Cut it out!” She laughed and parted her hair. Read More